It’s funny. We never know that the other people around us often have the exact same thoughts and feelings as us.
Like today. Josh told me that when he saw his ex-girlfriend a few weeks ago, he just wanted to kiss her. So I read to him that beautiful passage I found in my book, “Nothing grieves so deeply or pathetically than one half of a great love that’s not meant to be.”
And he felt it, just as I felt it, because it tells a truth neither one of us can or are able to express. We can’t because it’s not right. We aren’t able because who has the words to explain it, that feeling of waiting and waiting and waiting, for nothing more than a glance or a brush or a sliver of attention. And why do we hang on like that?
Josh is my brother, so I know first hand that he is a beautiful person, in and out. We stem from a beautiful mother. We’re a really great family. We are all beautiful inside and out.
So why can’t we have what we want need?
It feels immature to say that it’s not fair, but once again, my book tells me that, “a man or woman becomes mature only two or three seconds before his death.” So what, maybe I’m allowed to be immature…
Oh, and I’m moving two weeks from today. I’ve started packing.
