Chronicles of Neuroticism

Amanda. Mindy Kay. 21. Creative writing student. Freelace writer. Thespian. Photographer's daughter. Courage's owner. Denizen of Orlando. NYC/Broadway bound.


Ask me anything  


I don’t want this

I don’t want this.
Put it far away,
Where fishes swim so pink and deep.

I don’t want this.
Take it back,
To where stars climax in the darkness.

I don’t want this.
It’s too heavy,
This pulsating rock of confusion.

I don’t want this,
This fear of you.
I don’t want this…
But… Oh, God… I do.



Subtext

Me: I don’t get it. I’m not eating after 7 and I’m working out 3 times a week. Why do I weigh more than I ever have in my life?
(Subtext: “)
Jenn: Well, you’re older than you’ve ever been.
(Subtext: You’ll get fatter as you get older. And, I’m not fat, so I’m not concerned about your issue. In fact I will always be hot and will never have to worry about my non-existent girth)
Me: …
(Subtext: Thanks Jenn for reassuring me that I can make it through my weight struggles, especially since I’ll be getting younger. Tomorrow.)

Where are all my

tumblr peeps?

Oh. I get it. You’re probably out experiencing actual life.
Unlike me. With a flaming throat for the sixth night in a row. Alone in my apartment.
Yeah, that’s me.



Reblogged from reverend-green
travs: thatryguy: beeteedubs: ihearthuckabees: (via liveforyourself) lol

travs:

thatryguy:

beeteedubs:

ihearthuckabees:

(via liveforyourself)

lol



Resemblance?

A judge of the thespian festival named Zana told me that every time she sees me she thinks of this painting by Botticelli. She says I look exactly like this woman.

I don’t see it. Do you?


I’m just a girl in her own world

Photobucket
So I found a little tidbit that I wrote a long time ago. I thought I’d share it here. Because… why not?

“I’m just a girl… in her own world… hoping for a miracle or two… that someone loves me… no one hates me… and I always know the truth…
If this is impossible, maybe its time to fly… fly… fly away… to my own hiding spot…
When my hiding spot isn’t found… I have to live with my faith… my faith that everything will eventually turn out to be okay…
So judge me not… promise me nothing… and steal nor lie to me… but make me aware that I’m not the only one living on her faith, forever… ” July 26th, 1999-ish






I love Michael! I’m totally seeing him up close March 13th!



A Convo with CooRay

  • AKC: Don't know- but omg- I just saw this commercial and there was like 20 puppies shoved on top of each other in a cage
  • AKC: and other animal abuse stuff
  • CooRay: Sounds adorable, but I assume it real small cage, so now it sound quite tragic :(
  • AKC: No, like, piled on top, like one's nose was sticking out the top bc it had no where else to go
  • AKC: And it was showing this bulldozer and this cow was being like ran/shoved over
  • AKC: I mean, I don't like cows but that was so sad
  • CooRay: Awwwww :'(
  • CooRay: :(
  • CooRay: Nooo!
  • ...
  • AKC: Kay I was real upset but I'm better now
  • AKC: I can't watch that. I have this string that goes right from my heart to my tears and a lil tug opens the floodgate every time I see stuff like that
  • CooRay: It sound so sad!
  • CooRay: Oh! What jenn say about gettin a doggy?
  • AKC: And when I saw this lil girl who lost 11 family members in the earthquake and anderson cooper asked her "have you always been brave?" And she was like "I was always brave and I will always be brave"... Even though she had 0 family left. No brothers or sisters or mom or dad or aunts or cousins.
  • AKC: Floodgate opened so hard when I saw that
  • CooRay: Omg!!!
  • AKC: I guess that's why I'm collecting this stuff. I keep thinking about her
  • CooRay: She a Haitian girl?
  • AKC: Ya
  • AKC: And its like, I look at my tiny apartment and my fridge full of food and my closet full of clothes and all my shoes and my friends and my family
  • AKC: And I think, how could I want more?
  • AKC: That girl had none of this. She had a pink dirty polo and a pair of shorts with holes and gashes in her leg and a broken ankle
  • CooRay: :'(
  • CooRay: Poor lil girl
  • CooRay: Poor haitian community at that :(
  • CooRay: I got my bag of clothes down stairs ready to be delivered to em
  • AKC: I don't mean to depress you
  • AKC: And thanks for ur donations
  • AKC: I know someone will love them
  • CooRay: Lol no its fine.
  • CooRay: I feel better about myself actually
  • AKC: I just speak from my lil string-pulled heart
  • AKC: I know, me too!
  • CooRay: Your heart's like a marionette
  • AKC: It is!
  • AKC: But, its like I've been sad here alone for the past few weeks, but I shouldn't be!
  • CooRay: :p
  • CooRay: Yaya
  • AKC: I have so much and I have so much ahead of me
  • CooRay: Ya 3-|
  • AKC: I mean, we both do. We have careers and marriages and maybe small ones and yummy chocolate foods to eat!
  • CooRay: Lol @ the yummy chocolate foods
  • AKC: I know
  • AKC: I'm real excited about that


Reblogged from desquierdo

REBLOG WITH HOW MANY FOLLOWERS YOU HAVE

I have 20 followers. Wow. Other people are popular.

travs:

michaelpeter:

thewellandthelighthouse:

-thomas:

nickelopolis:

mariahbee:

piranha-bite:

ohhaymadi:

eyesofthedevil:

believeinnarwhals:

nikocaincruzpastulovic:

rebellionandlies:

inthatlittleblackdress:

hearttothesky:

ohshitdiaanee:

130 .

313

254

5,421. no just kidding.

One milli-
148

-219

521

320

142

229

194

269 lol

264

429

407



Reblogged from enquotations
“ Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Mother Teresa (via enquotations)